Three months ago today, we said goodbye to our boy Eli.
People ask me nearly every day - "Are you okay?"
No. I'm not okay.
I'm pretty far from okay.
Some days, enjoyable things happen. I keep trying to learn new things, as is my way. I keep trying to experience new things. I try and practice my skills and stay fit. I try and get a decent night's sleep. I try and turn up to work, and I try to make it all matter.
If my heart wasn't so broken, I think I'd probably be having a great time of things.
I wish I was someone who could find enough joy in my otherwise charmed life to make a bridge over this chasm, somehow walk to the other side.
Don't ask me if I'm okay. This isn't the answer you're looking for.
I am so, so sorry, Tim. I think of you and your family every day, and my heart is heavy with the knowledge that there is nothing anyone can say or do to make this any better. But know that Elijah is not, and never will be, forgotten. So sorry. K x
ReplyDeleteThanks for the kind thoughts, KVJ. Hope you guys are all doing tippity top!
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