Monday, May 27, 2013

Opportunity cost

Sup. I've not written anything here since last year. I intended to put up at least a post a week, but then Eli happened and our lives got flip turned upside down.

I'd love to say we're "getting over it" or "moving past it" or "getting back to normal". All of these are things that people have told me, in happy tones, have been evident in my demeanor in the last six months. Truth is, life ain't like that. We're carrying on with life, trying to make sure Gabe is happy and healthy. We've become experts at not talking about the most important thing in our life. On that note, this is the last I'll talk about it, at least for a while - evidence suggests no-one wants to hear a sad story.

I originally set up this blog with the intent of mixing my work and my personal life, which seems idiotic in retrospect, especially after setting up Boss Alien and trying to learn how to run a business - it's rare these two things mix. I've been wanting to put up some content for a while now, but it's been hard to write around what's been happening to us - think of this as a stake in the ground where I declare my commitment to putting on a textual mask and trying to ignore everything I can't talk about and describe things that I can.

So, what else is new? Weather's nice. We moved out of Brighton for some head space, and it's been revelatory, not just in helping us find ourselves but also in informing us of what we want out of life - where we want to be, where we want to live. I thought I'd miss Brighton more than I do. I thought I'd be more bothered by the commute, but some days I even enjoy it.

Deciding where to live isn't a trivial process. Though I've moved over 30 times in my life, moving house and contemplating buying a house are not one and the same. It's become obvious to us that making decisions that rely on unspoken assumptions on how your life will play out become much more complex when you make those assumptions explicit, open for question and debate. If this happens, are you sure you want to be living here? What about if that happens? When, not if?

We will hopefully have a new addition to our family in a couple of months. I'm trying to move from scared witless to excited, and as the day gets closer it's becoming more real to me. Fingers crossed we get to raise this one. I have a habit of keeping something wooden close at all times now, so I can touch it. I don't hold much truck with religion, but damned if I haven't become back yard superstitious when the chips are down.

I wanted at least some of the content of this blog to be relevant to my family in the later years, so here's a little gem just for you, my family - I love you with all my heart. Start with the important stuff, that's what I say.