Wednesday, June 2, 2010

How to say Incompetent in six easy downpayments

Addendum - Again, after speaking to Colin and David in customer services, they have resolved this issue (and this time within 15 minutes of me contacting them!). These guys rock. If only the rest of the BT customer services could be as effective. 

After the exemplary treatment I've had at the hands of the BT special division who can actually speak english and are obviously based somewhere near this country, I thought I'd keep my bile in check, but seriously - this is beyond a joke.

British Telecom - you are evidently run by a malicious computer with no regard for human feelings. Because if you're not, the alternative is too ridiculous to comprehend.


If you are, then they're doing a fine job.

If you are not (and I honestly hope to god you're not) then WHAT THE HELL.

so after the total trauma that was moving house (see parts one and two here), I thought that since, you know, we actually had a phone line, that would be the end of the worries.

No, says BT. I will ensure that you are totally dissatisfied with the experience. So although I paid for all associated charges and the like, three months ago I got my phone line disconnected. When I finally managed to get through to someone in Bangalore or wherever the hell the BRITISH Telecom (the hint should be in the name, surely) customer services department was, they informed me that I had missed a bill and was late paying it, and had consequently disconnected my line.

Which bill, says I?

The one that we sent yesterday, says the CS rep.

You do realise that we don't have teleporters for the postal service here in England, says I? I haven't even seen the bill yet? and it's Sunday? The post won't arrive until tomorrow at the earliest? Am I making a shred of sense here?

Oh, I understand that, Sir, says the CS rep. However, you were late paying for the line connection charge on your last quarter too, which is why we've disconnected the line.

This is, of course, the line connection charge that had already been waived because I WAS MOVING HOUSE AND THE ONLY REASON FOR CONNECTING A NEW LINE WAS BECAUSE ... WELL ... I HAVE NO GODDAMNED IDEA. But regardless of the logic behind it, I didn't owe any money at all at this point. Having the phone line disconnected was slightly frustrating, to say the least.

Various calls to India in vain,  but a direct call to the folks who originally helped me install the line and the issue was (I believed) resolved, and the line reconnected.

(As an aside - the internet was working just fine during this debacle.)

So this quarter's bill has just arrived. and on THIS bill, I've been charged for late payment (£7.50) and an "other one off charge" - £17.62 for reconnecting the line after the disconnection.

you've just charged me £25 quid because you're incompetent, and obviously have no way of tracking why, when or how any of the actions you take occur. All of the relevant details are in your files. So why charge me? Am I a problem customer? Did I do something to someone in BT in a former life that I'm not aware of?

Assuming that something dubious would happen this quarter, I'd overpaid my bill (I'm not sure if I'd paid 10 or 20 pounds, but I wanted to ensure I was in credit to stop any line disconnections this time around). I guess I'm too much of a cheapskate when it comes to being in credit.

This is not a huge amount of money. I will not starve this month if I need to pay an extra 25 pounds. I will, however, be cancelling the service just as soon as I possibly can because you know what? I'm furious. I'm actually furious. I'm paying for a telephone service that I hardly ever use simply so I can get ADSL and it's raising my blood pressure and shortening my life expectancy, and nothing is worth that.

(Edits have occurred to remove swearing ... I should know better, really.)

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